In Search of Contentment
An in-depth expose of how bad I am living out my faith
One of the more charming elements of the modern workplace is the conducive environment it provides for comparing yourself to others.
Sometimes it feels like we are all in one big cage match, competing with one another for jobs, status, resources, and promotions. There’s a built-in incentive to continually check the rearview mirror—or heaven forbid, look ahead—to see where everyone else is.
As if I need any more incentive to do that.
I’m constantly comparing myself to others. Who’s up? Who’s down? Who got to add headcount in their department? Who sat at the same table as the regional vice president at the company picnic? Who wiped out with a gaffe-filled presentation to the board of directors?
Every little thing is a potential metric by which I can compare myself to others. And the worse the metric makes them look compared to me, well, giddy up.
Given how incredibly important my career is to me (yes, I know what an idol is—this is nothing like that, and I’m embarrassed for you that you brought it up), it’s not surprising to me that I spend so much time contrasting my progress relative to others.
Looking at Others’ Stuff
Another area where I compare myself to others is material possessions. It’s particularly telling that I usually don’t want something until I see that someone else has it. I didn’t realize I needed an array of computer monitors on my desk until I saw a coworker with more screens than Best Buy. I never knew I needed a flashy luxury sports car until another friend got one. It was so quiet! So clean! The windows rolled down without a crank!
Let me be clear: I am not proud of this. It’s gritty, unseemly, and gauche. The fact that I know this and do it anyway probably doesn’t make me look very good in your eyes.
Unfortunately, if that’s the way I look, then I think you have pretty good eyesight.
A New Yardstick
There is an alternative to this external comparison. Paul challenges us to focus on our own work.
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load” (Galatians 6:4–5).
The New American Standard Bible translates the phrase as “each one must examine his own work.” And our work is to be evaluated through God’s lens, not our own.
Satisfied Where We Are
There’s another state of mind that tamps down my tendency to compare myself to others. It’s elusive for me, but very pleasing when I capture it. It’s called contentment.
Contentment is yet another concept I don’t think is part of the typical MBA track.
I think of it as finding peace or satisfaction with your current state. It’s a rare thing in our world.
In fact, achieving contentment may not be possible on our own. It requires relying on a preeminent relationship with Jesus to realign the priorities of your current situation and feel satisfied.
Contentment in Three Easy Steps
While I think it requires holy help to find contentment, there are things we can do to help spur it along.
The first is to stop consciously checking to see what others have. Another technique to foster contentment is to practice gratitude. Yes, there are a lot of things I don’t have. But there are also a lot of things I do have, both material and nonmaterial: relationships, abilities, circumstances.
A third strategy for finding contentment is to force myself to look beyond my superficial interactions with others to see the full view of their lives. Instead of looking at what they have or where their careers are going, it helps to truly engage with others.
It doesn’t take long to see that they are facing challenges, setbacks, and frustrations that may be the same, may be less, or may be more than what I’m dealing with.
As we see others as fellow travelers who also need the Good News in their lives, perhaps it will reduce the feeling we have to outrun them to grab what we don’t have.
The author of Hebrews reminds us that we have a treasure that doesn’t require us to run or strive or worry. “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5).
My wise grandmother had it right when she said, “A true blessing is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.”
Of course, that was easy for her to say.
She drove a sports car.